It's actually Tutur Tinular 😅
I was really young and don't remember any of the original version Tutur Tinular (1997)
The story about a beautiful woman who actually not really a beautiful young woman she's a granny
Imagine if I never read the story of Salma and Khadijah? (Being cursed not gonna marry till old, called Nenek2, etc... if only they knew or reach out and ask gently or manly, but I believe it's the qadr of Allah we're trials for each other I read The Best Laid Plans
And watch The Godfather too (and also the similar theme but in Japan and Korea setting) I actually know the risk or the danger about being revengeful you should manage it really carefully and stay halal. Or keep cleaning our hearts. Because it could be sick, it could be safe and sound, it could be in between from time to time. But alhamdulillah always, God threw me all the guidances and options. And it's me who should choose or press the right button. That good old days. And boom. Suddenly I'm old enough. Alhamdulillah always.
I said I want to have many children is there any advice from your Mom
And also married young but I'm not young anymore 😅
But it's fine everything has it's own plus minus 😊
I'm running out of time... I should've pray tahajud 12 raka'at not decrease or even leave it at this rate. I remember I also ever want to get a job, build business, and WFH be a full-time Mom. Or anything near that.
It's my principle to keep dreaming even if it seems a lot, it's good indeed you don't have to worry about failure at least one of those must be achieved in the end or at least you arrive near that 😅 As long as it good, just let it spark your soul 💖
But you know I learn a lot these years. I thought a lot about why in Indonesia entrepreneurships are low. The climate is really bad (I'm sorry Uber 😌) it's not that people don't have passion for it. But it's really hard to level up from small business to a corporate. So many people in Indonesia stuck on UMKM (Small Business), and it impactful and generational too I mean someone like me who 'just' graduate really hard to be employed, you know what? There's no part time in Indonesia! It's great for the rich you're being spoiled by the climate but for the unfortunate but have strong will it's really hard on them. I mean there are already a lot unemployed adult, part time opportunity could be really hard, strikes all day in front of your business might happened. Even the disabled eventhough skillful, still discriminated, sometimes. Don't they think? They should feed themselves too. Then come the age where you want to be more than just employee you already have the knowledge how it feels like to be a subordinate but then many factors holding you from doing it (your parents or spouse won't support you, etc) and the risk is high and your "cushion" is bad it's even hard to collect for pension fund or emergency fund only, imagine opening a business. But it's in Indonesia from one of millions perspectives of course. Somebody out there in Indonesia too already graduate, have his own land/garden/crops, home, etc extremely stable for pension (I mean you have pond and rice field in your own home, your future quite safe, you already your own boss too). So it's still common if everyone here still dreaming to have many children and marry young. Not everyone, I mean it's me, when I was younger. You just need to be home, pray, clean your ass and your babies ass till die. And eat or fuck all day and night. Sorry for my bad choice of words, I'm frustrated. My communication with my parents extremely bad. You know those revert who kicked out of home? I was in that position, now I'm struggling to be as really Islamic as I used to, but also make my parents understand my drastic changing views and conditions. Pandemic helps but I'm struggling again or still now. I'm still unstable too. Not fully evolved. My destiny keeps changing.
But still though? Why are my parents like this. You just need to accept me stay home before one day your daughter marry and fully in his guard (her husband I mean). Getting a job is not a must it's optional for women, it's too much for me being expected like that, I know it's hard to provide for me till graduate but it's from God anyway. It's not that I don't want to work but don't force me. God wants ease for me. God never bear anyone more than it's capacity. It's just the people, that's why I've never been atheist even in my darkest days. Because it's not God's fault. We're all human (including me) are just awful, it's ours. It's us who should keep bettering ourselves. Alhamdulillah if I could get a job that pays well. But instead of support, after a series of failed attempts all I got is just demanding requests and questions. Why this world like this? Same when I'm struggling to graduate they only think about marriage, not helping me, the danger of being self-less, if you can't be balance, you attract narcissists or exploiters. Or another super self-less too and it's also bad, if you're not trying to bettering each other, not balance, you'll drown together. My ships still hasn't sailed. In Indonesia we have phrase like 'biduk rumah tangga'. It's idiom that building a family or marriage is like sailing/voyage/takeoff.
You're gonna fly away, glad your goin' my way~
Cruise~
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