It's kinda awesome feeling, when I'm back, and my friends can't stop talking to me. Like... you've been holding it for so long right? You've been waiting me all this time right? You miss me right? Wkwk. I'm here okay. I'm here. Tell me your stories. It's okay. It's alright.
I can't name this awesome feeling. I think I'm touched, they really treasure my presence. And also, they don't really say they miss me but they show me that they do really miss me. When I speak or ask they don't ignore me. They don't say mean things too.
But... Why I love to "disappear"? One of the reasons: because I can die anytime. I don't really like attachment. I don't want to depend on someone. And I don't want someone to depend on me. Let us learn how to depend to Allah (and ourselves first). I'm simply a free spirit actually.